It’s been awhile since my last update… So I thought I would poke my head in here and let everyone know I’m still alive and work is slowly getting done still. There is still going to be some delay with artwork and I apologise. If you have any concerns at all about the status of an art piece you are waiting for please message me so we can talk about it. You can also check my queue HERE. I try to keep it up to date as much as possible. (Not really art update but kinda, more of a mental health/artist update) I’m not gonna sugar coat things anymore. These last few weeks have been really hard, and I feel like I should talk about it to not leave everyone in the dark and wondering whats going on. However this is very personal stuff and not easy for me to talk about in the slightest. So read this knowing I’m showing you a bit of my heart, as it’s so hard to do so these days. But trigger warning for suicide and all that mental health fun talk stuff. So again… This last few weeks have been really tough… and I fear I'm not in the clear yet. I have been through a lot in my life, and this suicide in our community had hit me hard. On top of that I’ve been dealing with very vivid dreams and flashbacks of not so pleasant times. I have BPD, and no its not the monster diagnosis people think it is. I’m not a monster. I find myself finding this more again. I’m not a monster. I’ve just been through a lot. Especially around this time of year for whatever reason. Due to the area I live in, I get to hear crackheads screaming at night and smashing shit in this ghetto neighborhood which triggers my PTSD/flashbacks. A few years ago, just before Canadian Thanksgiving, when I was still in my heavily abusive relationship I had tried to take my life. Not the first time, but probably the most successful? I had put myself in my own special coma for 4-5days, only to awake to my abuser beside me again. My mother was there also, who was in on the abuse and had told me multiple times to suck it up and deal with it and thats just how men be sometimes. My abusive ex and family aren’t really in my lives anymore but this is still a seriously triggering time for me. I only recently cut off my mother earlier this year, so its still new. And even though I cut her off doesn’t mean shes not driving to my place every so often trying to yell shit up to me in my apartment, or leave mentally/emotionally abusive notes on my car. She recently said the family was moving out East away from me and it was my fault? I also only hope that my abusive ex is out of my life forever because he used to stalk my social media and I had to block multiple accounts. He also manipulated friends I had made since leaving him into thinking I’m the abuser and he’s the victim and my ‘friends’ turned their backs on me despite hearing my stories and seeing the pictures over the past year of being ‘friends’. If I’m being honest I dont fully trust them to not give out my new address to my abusive ex. I don’t feel safe here. So… with all this I’ve just been a big ball of stress and barely getting out of bed or doing much art and I really apologize for this. This is anniversary trauma and it typically clears up after a few weeks. Im thinking a couple weeks after Canadian thanksgiving. But don’t worry the art wont take that long. I’m getting a tablet to help me do work from my bed. I really want to move. I think moving from this region and having a fresh start would help my mental health SOOOO so much. But sadly I am far off from doing that kind of move still. Especially since Im gonna dip into my personal saving decently depending on which tablet I go for. But I feel the tablet is a necessary purchase so I can continue work wherever I am since its always on my mind. I could do work in bed, on the couch, on car rides, on hikes. I think both a tablet and moving are equally valuable to helping my mental health at this point. Also the tablet will help me lots in school with my art program. So more of a win. (more of an art update)
Phew. Well… now that ramble is over with time for a slightly more relevant art update.
Were you aware I was still doing the 100 OC challenge? Well I am! I sold/filled 17 slots of those 100, and I’m still working on them. Here is a quick screenshot WIP.
As for September subscriber rewards…
The main group picture inks are still being worked on. There is lots of characters and lots of details so please be patient with me. I apologize for the delay.
The Squid Squad group inks are done, flats will be done shortly.
Padded Planet reward is slightly delayed but the one person on that tier has been made aware of the delays and extra love is already being put into the piece for the wait.
Commissions are just flat out closed. Unless its a YCH in the OPEN YCH FOLDER FOUND HERE. Or if you want to get in on the OC challenge. This is only until I’m out of this slump and catch up on my work.
Plans for Rahhtober. 🐲
I think I’m going to close slots for it on October 2nd. Those on the alien plush pal tier, you will automatically be placed in this group picture. Also the money you paid towards your membership in October is being donated to Elly’s memorial fund.
I’m trying to figure out the best way to keep everyone information together so I dont have to go searching for it every month. So I think for the next little bit I’m going to be taking in monthly subscriber information through THIS FORM. You will need to fill out this form EVERY MONTH. This should make sure that all information is up to date an accurate, because sometimes refs change, or you want a different OC or outfit and other random information. This should help me so much ✨
This was a heckin massive update and I’m sorry if its to much for everyone. I try not to write lots. I love you all so much! Please stay safe and chase your happiness, cadets!